The Legend of the Carrot Ninja
by UntimelyDisease
Summary: (Terrible at summaries, just read it if you choose to read it, because I'm also way too lazy at putting a summary when there's a summary inside! All/most credit goes to VortexKubik for inspiring me, check out his works, they're awesome, R&R PL0X AM N00B 1N N33D 0F R3V13W5!) Also rated t for trigger, because I pull the gun triggers too much
1. Chapter 1

This is kinda based off of VortexKubik's work, and not really, mainly because I asked the question, and he gave me the idea, so most of the credit goes to him, or all, I dunno, anyways, here it is! This is what it would be like (In my mind) If there was a carrot ninja superhero who mastered kung fu, karate, and greek and roman fighting styles

In a magical place, far, far away - well, to be in Long Island, New York, to be exact - there was a place, called Camp Half Blood, but all was not well in Camp Half Blood, for there was a monster attack, "Oh no!" Cried Percy, "Whatever shall we do!?" Everyone was powerless against it, even Chaos itself! But, just then, Carrot Ninja arrived. A master of Kung Fu, Karate, and the styles of Greek and Roman fighting techniques, jumped into the scene, "Hiya, folks!" She cheerily shouted, already blasting the big, bad monster with carrot arrows, the monster furiously swiped at her, but she dodged. "Why won't you APOLLO-gize for the way you're behaving?" Of course, she always made puns, "Boys go to Jupiter, to get more stupider!" She taunted, insulting the monster and all the boys at Camp Half Blood, Artemis chuckled, for she had heard it, all the way up in Olympus, Zeus shouted, "THAT MONSTER!" And he issued a quest to kill Carrot Ninja while he cried onto Hera's shoulder while checking out other women, she started slapping Zeus with fish and Apollo and Aphrodite had a baby, while Athena was confused, Demeter married Hades while Persephone ate up Ares and Hephaestus, and made out with Apollo, Hestia was just chatting with Hecate on different ways to assassinate people. Back to the story line! Carrot Ninja, being a daughter of Demeter, summoned her legendary carrot sword from its sheath, Carrot's Respite, it was called. It was a trident and a sword all in one. "Now, time for your end, vile monster!" She threw a box of cereal at the monster, effectively stunning it, she then flew into a flurry of sword attacks, gashing and slashing until the monster exploded. She looked away from the explosion while putting sunglasses on, making her look even more beautiful than Aphrodite, of course, Aphrodite cried but couldn't do anything else, lest she get hurt by Demeter. "Oh, Carrot Ninja, please reveal to us, your identity, o better than Percy Jackson." Percy bowed before her. Carrot Ninja obliged, taking her mask off, only to reveal...

A/N: Hah! Cliffie! CLIFFORD THE GIANT RED DOG, love that book so much, beautifuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul. And also, R&R cuz this is my first story! :D, well, on wattpad is my first story. So second story! :


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone looked at her in awe, it was Piper Mclean! Everyone thought her to be Aphrodite's daughter, but seeing her shoot carrots from her hands, it was impossible for people _not_ to see her as Demeter's daughter. She had Agriculture knowledge and powers over nature, and beauty, as well as Charmspeak. It was an awkward silence, until Annabeth spoke up, "But... How? It's impossible..." She said, confused, until she got an idea. "Unless you were blessed by Aphrodite. Correct?" Piper nodded. "I LOVE CARROTS!" She shouted, shooting a blue carrot at Percy. And a living carrot owl at Annabeth. (Carrots!) Percy quickly ate the Blue Carrot in a matter of seconds, and Annabeth married the Carrot Owl. Annabeth and Carrot Owl lived happily ever after and had hybrid Demigod Carrot Owl babies, how it happened, no one will know. Percy cried, but Annabeth slapped him with a clone of herself. Percy married blue cookies. They had babies shortly after. Hazel and Frank married Leo because their relationship felt empty, (A/N: FRAZELEO FTW!) And then had babies because it was soon found out Leo could reproduce. Thalia turned into Artemis and Artemis turned into Nico, Hera cheated on Zeus. Kronos ate himself. Chaos was eating pie, and Octavian was eating Percy's Pillow Panda Pet. Percy then got mad and started to flame him on the internet. Octavian got sad and ate Kronos, who was eating himself and Octavian. Apollo and Aphrodite's baby was named Blarglez because they barfed rainbows. Zoe was still alive and Bianca still lived, and were turned into Titaness' stronger than Zeus. Gaea was Leo's mother, Jason was the father of Percy. And then Piper had ate carrot cake.

(A/N: Sorry for short chapters, and bad spelling and grammar, I'm just a child! Don't hurt meh! Also, R&R R_R :D)


	3. Trigger warnings and me being confuzzled

**A/N: This chapter has a very graphic scene, and is very scary. Er, might be, so if you're below the ages 17, don't read it, but if you do read it, don't say I never told you about it. Also, there is a lot of *'s coming from Piper, you have been warned.**

"We thought you died-ed-ed when Octavian slapped you with steak!" Percy exclaimed, "Yeah, well you thought Leo was dead, but he's on Frank's shoulders." Piper said, ignoring Percy's grammar. "Also, I have a friend who killed him while he was in Tartarus, very scary, despite his age, anyways, PLAY FLASHBACK!" Piper said as a screen popped up out of nowhere, and started to play the memory, **(A/N: GRAPHIC PART INCOMING!)** Octavian was missing half his face, and his throat had multiple cuts, each cut gushing blood, his skin was deathly pale, his shoulders were dislocated, his hands were almost cut off, hanging limply, **(A/N: Is that even a word? Limply, limply.)** Octavian's left arm fell off, which Piper then shoved in his mouth, despite his protests. The screen turned to face an eleven year old boy, **(A/N: My own oc, Puppet! :D)** he wore black and white stripes, and smiled maniacally, "What do you want!?" Octavian screamed, "Leave me alone! Isn't this enough torture!?" The child shook his head, instead, raising a scythe and cutting Octavian's legs. He then chopped off Octavian's lower torso, relishing his screams of pain in pleasure. Puppet carved an omega sign into Octavian's chest. Deciding this began to be boring, he got a war hammer, and crushed every single bone in Octavian's body. And then bashed the war hammer into Octavian's sack. He cried. Puppet then cracked Octavian's neck, and left. **(A/N: Graphic part ended!)** The screen disappeared. "Well... That boy is very scary. Piper, you have a creepy friend." Annabeth said, "I know. Deal with it!" She slapped Annabeth in the face with Athena. This caused Athena to cry. Piper came up to Olympus with carrot wings and slapped Ares with Zeus, and then slapped Zeus with his lightning bolt, "YOU STUPID **** **** **** **** **** ****, YOU ACCUSED SOMEONE WITH NO EVIDENCE, YOU **** **** **** **** **** *** *** **** *** **** ***** *****! WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON, JASON? HUH!? YOU STUPID **** **** ****!" She yelled, reading the Lightning Thief. Zeus cried on Hera's butt, checking out Leto, **(A/N: Is it Leta, or Leto? I'm confused, playing too much SMITE while reading lore, QQ)** Hera killed Zeus, stabbing him with Kronos, to his dismay, Apollo had a boy version of the hunt, with boy versions of basically everyone that was in the hunt, including the dead people who were in the hunt, except for Orion, because he's a butt face. Leo had pie, Piper ate carrots, giving her laser eyes, and x-ray vision. Percy married a blue fish cookie curtain and ate it, along with his blue carrot. They held a funeral for both of his spouses several hours later. Annabeth killed her carrot owl, eating it, and marrying Percy. It turned out Annabeth was a male, and Percy was a girl, they had babies running around. It turned out Leo had been drugged by Frazel, and got back together with Calypso, Frazel cried on each other's shoulders, Solangelo happened, Jeyna happened as well, because Piper got with Luke, Chaos made Hestia queen of the universe, and the fates gave their power to Demeter, much to her happiness. Hades hid in fear of Demeter cutting his lifeline, but to his dismay, she made him dance and release Persephone from her curse. Frazel ate a tree, and then got slapped in the face by Gruniper.

 **A/N: Sorry for forgetting to mention that characters are very ooc. MB! R &R at R_ .net! Bye!)**


	4. BLARGLEZ

**AN: HALLO MY PPLS _King Julien quote (Probs) HALLO MAH READAHS, FIRST... *Adele song Hello plays* I'M SORRY FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART! Me: WTF WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!? AHFIOA:DFNIA:ODFNEDNSJFBNASLKNDFASJFBAD:NKJSN! RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING! -Caboose quote from Red VS Blue (The running part) Anyways, second off, I would like to thank VortexKubik for reminding me to write the story, also, go check out his two stories, there's going to be a link at the end of the chapter... Or not, I really dunno. I'm just SO lazy rn, here's a link to his story that he works on the most, s/11971500/1/Demigod-Conspiracies also, read kittydj's story, s/11716886/1/Ask-the-Demigods they're both incredibly funnier than mine, I just have short chapters... BUT KITTYKUBIK WILL NEVAH HAPPEN! *Crying* Anyways, I'LL BE BAWK *Chicken comes in* WTF WHERE IS ALL THIS ****** COMING FROM!?**

Percy fainted from the sight that was placed before his eyes, and then he licked Annabeth, thinking she was ice cream, which she was... BLUE COOKIE ICE CREAM! Annabeth licked Percy, the same thing happening... Except that it was just Percy flavored. Nico married Chaos, and then killed Percy and married Annabeth, Chaos was a cat all along, so Chaos just licked itself ( **AN: Chaos has no gender, Chaos can be anything, don't believe me, search it up, still don't believe me, well I think you should step on a lego brick IN THE DARK, when it turns out it's actually IN BROAD DAYLIGHT CUZ UR BLIND!)** Piper went to sleep, hugging a Rabbit plushie named Blarglez, Blarglez was actually a live Rabbit that shot carrots and lasers out of his eyes, he was also rainbow colored, and was the cutest thing ever, and the rabbit face was cuter than all the other faces, everyone soon fell prey to his cuteness, and he devoured them all up, except Piper cuz Piper love, Piper life. Zeus married Ares, and Hera married Gaea ( **I DUNNO WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME)** Kronos married Athena and ate Hermes, pooping him out, Artemis was watching a soap opera, crying over a ship, "NO! ASH AND MISTY SHALL GET TOGETHER!" ( **I just put Ash and Misty from Pokemon cuz I'm too lazy to think of any other names)** Thalia married her pine tree and had pie with it, then they both turned into seahorses and gave birth, TO TREANT BABY SEA HORSES THAT SHOOT LIGHTNING AND HAVE CONTROL OVER WIND, EARTH, AND WATER, AND THUNDER/ELECTRICITY! The pie was a lie who turned out to be a cake who turned out to be a pie who turned out to be a spy whose name was The Spy Was A Cake ( **MY STEAM NAME! :D)** An ice cream cone appeared out of nowhere and devoured the entire universe, but not earth, so now there was no space and only a stasis, they were all frozen in time but still ate cake, and pie, the ice cream pooped out the universe, and turns out, BEES VOMIT HONEY! ( **I just discovered that, my love for honey has been destroyed** ) Cookies ate pie, who ate cake, who ate The Spy Was A Cake who ate another pie who ate ice cream who ate ice cream cookies who ate pie who ate cake and Kronos put that in a loop, doomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDSdoomed forever to be ever and ever and ever and ever and - oh shit this is a loop, help us - AICAODNMFAKFMSDOFDS Until Kronos got bored and put it out of a loop and everything was returned to normal. THE END... Or is it? Then Deadpool came in and married Piper, they had super ninja kids who broke the fourth wall, Deadpool came in the scene and said, "THIS STORY WILL PROBS END WITHOUT REVIEWS, THE AUTHOR IS DYING OF REVIEW DEPRIVATION! HELP HIM!"

 **AN: Nah, not really, IM ALIVE! *Leo comes in* Hah! You can't even - *Stuffs Percy into Leo's mouth* SHUT UP LEO, NOT RIGHT NOW YOU MAY BE MY SECOND FAVE CHAR BUT THIS STORY IS ABOUT PIPER NOTCHU SHUT YO PIE HOLE YOU SHOVEL! *Throws a shovel at Leo* Leo: MMPH MMMPH MMMMMMMMPH! (I HAVE RIGHTS!) SHUT UP! Okay, anyways, I feel like I copied that... I must atone for my sins, *dies in a hole* This story has died as well, please give money for the fake funeral because we faked our fake deaths. Okay, that's the end of this chapter, and I GOT A NEW LAPTOP! :D :D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D BIPOLAR FACE I ATE PI PIE CUZ I AM A SPY CAKE!**


	5. Octavian x Drew (Because they both ho's)

AHA! I HAVE FOOLED YOU ALL! YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE CARROT NINJA! AHAHAHAHA! BOW BEFORE ME! Also, I dunno why, but I've been reading romance books on wattpad a lot lately... I even read The Girl He Never Noticed, it's also a real book, the book is really good, go check it out! Anyways, RIDE INTO THE STORY! BTW, I'm not really feeling it lately, so sorry about this chapter

Piper played Undertale on her laptop. She beat Sans on the first try. Everybody praised her, even Drew! And then Drew called her a ho, to which Piper retaliated by crushing Drew's pinky toe, and forcing her to walk on hot lego bricks. FOR ALL ETERNITY, and then called her a shovel while decapitating her with a shovel, and then Demeter had babies with Frank, Hazel married her reflection, and Narcissus was crushing on Leo. Hard. He cried out Leo's name every night. Echo married Leo, because let's face it, I think they're adorable together. Calypso was Percy's Girlfriend, and Rachel killed the Gods with her hair brushes, and then married Chronos, (NOT KRONOS, ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE) having lots of babies, Ananke ate her daughters, the Fates, and then pooped out pie, bee's turned into a cookie, dogs ate chocolate and lived, while Octavian was slowly suffering like the little douchbag he is, he deserved to die slowly, the fucking little bitch whore asshole douchbag was a jerk who should suffer slowly and eat RAISINS! The stupid shovel should get his toe stubbed a thousand times while stepping on hot lego bricks, IN THE DARK! Because he's a fucking asshole who's perfect for Drew, and got married, and had douchbag babies who did scumbag things and Zeus was actually wise and killed those babies, so Zeus did the actual right thing, and then the world ended. Mainly because Zeus became a drama queen diva, the worst kind of them all...

AN: Sorry for the super short chapter, I just wasn't feeling it today. Anyways, READ AND REVIEW AND DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT KITTYDJ'S AND VORTEXKUBIK'S STORIES! THEY'RE FUNNY AF! (To VortexKubik and Kittydj, I will continue advertising your stories for you because you both are awesome! Or until you tell me to stop) Anyways, don't forget to read and review, bye! -UntimelyDisease AKA Ebola because fuck cancer


	6. I'm an idiot

AN: AND HERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR LEGEND OF THE CARROT NINJA! It's to add in as an apology. And, once again, don't forget to check out Kittykubik's (Ship name because I'm too lazy to say both of their names) stories, they are both awesome creators, favorite and follow them! :D And into the story! (Sorry owner of the OC Josh for not adding in Red Vs Blue the last chapters.)

Caboose was playing with Piper frisbee as Carolina and Church and Washington discussed what was happening, "So, this is Earth, huh, really... Different." Church commented. "Yeah, because this is the past, we're in 2016, Epsilon." Carolina said, checking around. "But this is a Summer Camp! Full of weirdo's with powers and swords... God, this must be an army of sorts!" Church commented. Piper walked up to Church, turned into an AI, and slapped the shit out of Church and knocked some sense into him, "WE ARE NOT AN ARMY YOU STUPID LITTLE PIECE OF NUMBERS I WILL SLAM YOU INTO THE GROUND I AM A FULL AI YOU THINK I WON'T GO EASY ON YOU? HUH!? I WILL BRING IN SHEILA, CHURCH!" Piper then exited Carolina's suit and turned back into Demigoddess again. "Jeez, what's your problem, you on your period?" Church said. Piper gave him the death stare, "Okay... I'm going to run some data on 2016 Earth and I'll check back soon!" Church exited as Hera was married to Kronos, Hestia had kitten babies, Chaos was just eating pie again, but the pie was the Earth so everybody died, except for the authors, Kittykubik, because they married, (I DUNNO WHY) And then had a weird baby who was the best writer ever. The end, ( I AM NOT THE WRITER BECAUSE MY WRITING IS VOMIT WORTHY ) Leo ate Frank, Hazel ate Leo, and Frank ate Hazel. Percy married Sally, Blowfish tortured Gabe, relishing each scream. Puppet was being Puppet (TRIGGER WARNING) By stabbing Zeus to near death, cutting off his limbs, having them regrow and cutting them off again, pouring acid on his face, pulling out his teeth, cutting his balls off with his Master Bolt, and basically throwing him in Gordon Ramsay's show, where Gordon makes everyone feel like shit! The worst kind of torture for Zeus was, though, stepping on VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY TIMES INFINITY hot lego bricks, and stubbing his PINKY TOE FOREVER! THE END!

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER I AM JUST SUCH AN ASSHOLE I WANT TO DIE! I'M SORRY, AND DON'T FORGET TO READ AND REVIEW! GOOD NIGHT/GOOD DAY/GOOD BYE!


	7. QUITTING

I'm sorry that this isn't a chapter, I know you all wanted one, but it's not, I'm quitting, sorry for being an asshole and quitting. My stories are up for adoption, so PM me if you want them, have a great day, and bye, forever, I hope you all move on and forget about me.


	8. CROSSOVER CHAPTER (Caboose Broke wall 4)

**Okay, so, firs#t off, I'm sorry that I was AWAY for so long. (Mainly because I quit.) I couldn't continue due to depression, (And a few suicide attempts. Like 5 times.) I'm going to put one of my stories up for adoption because I can't really do 2 stories. I'm not a good writer like ThineWorstEnemy or KittyDJ. Thine and Kitty sittin' in a tree, G. Anyways, just vote for which story you want me to continue and I'll put the story the majority wants me to continue up for adoption. Anyways, let's get on with this story! (I'm doing it on LOTCN because I'm too lazy to write more than an entire paragraph.)**

Piper waved goodbye to the RVB Crew as they left off on their spaceship to another planet. Or some shit. CAROLINA (MY PS3 CHARACTER WHICH I'VE OVERWRITTEN BY ACCIDENT, I WILL MISS YOU! #Pray4CarolinaTheMajestic) slapped the shit out of Piper and started beating her with Brason, Jason then married Percy and had babies that shot lightning bolts when they farted, or burped. (Who would be the dominant one? TELL MEH, AND IDK WHY I SAY OR ASK THAT. I'M MESSED UP.) Leo and Nico bitch slapped each other, with puppies... WHO HELD FLAMING CHAINSAWS WITH A DYNAMITE LOADED SHARK. The entire playable characters from all the borderlands games (THIS IS A TRIPLE CROSSOVER SUCKAH DIS STORY AINT GOIN IN THAT CROSSOVER SECTION) Had a party in the Zeus Cabin. Maya phaselocked Thalia and threw her ass off a cliff and she then turned into a pine tree. Annabeth and Hazel fought over Frank while he ate Reyna while Reyna ate Travis and Conner who ate the entire planet because the planet was eating Hermes, Gaia was pissed off at them, not because of them preventing her from reforming, BECAUSE of pollution, she hoped Chaos would kill her, buuuut, Chaos was slapping Gaia in the Void. (Hail Sithis if you get that.) Astrid from the Dark Brother Hood betrayed CHB and CJ to the President (I vote Dolan Duck, not Donald Trump or Hillary Rodham Clinton.). Astrid then got bitchslapped by CAROLINA (I MISS CHU SO MUUUUUUUUUUUCH) and then got dunked on by Sans (I JUST BROUGHT UNDERTALE INTO THIS.) Gaige ripped Ulfric apart with her digistruct claws. (SMASH THE SYSTEM) And then CAROLINA smashed the fuck out of ROBLOX for screwing a once great website/game and turning it into a fucking terrible game/website. Puppet made Zeus eat himself while Ares ate Zeus. MR Torgue slapped the fuck out of Handsome JackASS (Get it? Because I called him a donkey's ass? No? WELL I HATE CHU) And then KittyEnemy (HAH, NEW SHIP NAME, SUCKA, also, after much thinking. I ate the last apple fritter and boston cream donut... IN EXISTENCE AND IN EVERY SINGLE PLANE OF EXISTENCE AND DIMENSION AND PARRALLEL UNIVERSESESESES. SUCKAS) And then CAROLINA got into a rap battle. And then I went back to writing songs, or poetry, idfk. (I actually do that.) KittyEnemy got married and had Author babies that played Skyrim and played Overwatch, watched RVB (I pictured your marriage and shit. I WAS BORED AND I HAD NOTHING TO DO WHEN I WAS AT MY GRANDMOTHERS HOUSE. And if I creeped chu out. I'm not really sorry... EVERYONE SHIP KITTYENEMY) Then Kirby (YES THE LITTLE PINK THING WHO I LOVE AND IS MY FAVORITE NINTENDO CHARACTER EVAH.) Became a vault hunter and helped Tiny Tina get revenge because she helped him/her highjack a train because she's awesome. BURN ALL DA BABIES. RAISIN OATMEAL COOKIES ARE EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL. AND RAISINS THEMSELVES ARE THE MOST EVIL! CLIMB DA TOP TO DA TRAIN, OR YOU'LL GO INSANE, WUT WUT. -TINY TINA 2k15 or some shit. Point is. Tiny Tina is Idol. What if Junkrat, Tiny Tina AND Torgue, made the most ultimate weapon ever? PEW PEW MUDDAFUKAS DIS ABOUT TO GET CRAZY! Aurelia danced like there was no tomorrow when she froze everyone on the battle field in space. FR4G-TP Butt slammed everyone when he used the disco ball of death too. (That was my best setup when I used him. Disco Ball of death, rainbow nova, and butt slamming in space! Oh, and if you're wondering, FR4G-TP IS CL4P-TP. Also, combine 3 purple luneshine weapons with moonstone and get a legendary from it. I tried it and it worked. "BOOM BITCH!" Clap-Trap yelled as he butt slammed Scavs into oblivion, looking badass as hell doing it. Thus ends the tale of the crossover chapter. "THAT'S THE TALE OF HOW THE PEOPLE THERE FELL INTO PANDEMOMIUN!" Caboose said, closing the book. "I don't even know how to read! Bye readers!" Omg, he broke the fourth wall, RUUUUN. Wait, we can just enter their world! FOLLOW ME! *Jumps in and lands in space* Oh fucking fuck fuck this is worse than when my friend Phillip made me ram my knee into a fucking rock. AND MORE WORSE THAN WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY STABBED MYSELF. Pain is fun... No, not really, I'm just cynical.

 **DONE! Sorry for short-ass chapter. Also, make sure to review and favorite, I guess. Also, please ship KittyEnemy and tell me which story you want me to continue and tell me if you want to adopt the stories, send me an example of a piece of the story that you improved on the story you want to adopt and I'll choose whichever one is best. Or something, Idfk, I'm just a huge lazy piece o' shit. CIAO ~Ebola, signing out.**


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